You Loved "Cheek to Cheek," Now Discover What Butt YOU Are! | Varyer

You Loved Cheek to Cheek, Now Discover What Butt YOU Are!

December 17

As a hypnosis aficionado, you know that there are endless ways to find truths about ourselves and the world around us.

You're probably a fan of altered states of being, meditation and balance, and just generally being chill. We'd guess you're fun at parties. You're December 17, an entrancing set of spirals that we could get lost in.

October 9

An angler. A monger. A seaman.

As a fan of the wide world of fishing, you are October 9. There's nothing better than cracking open a cold one on the open water. Just make sure you have the appropriate head gear for those all-day endeavors.

November 11

You are well-connected to the cosmos and the ever-changing alignment of celestial bodies.

As the butt of November 11, you are a sensitive being, one who knows how to care for yourself and for others. You are ever-aware of the fact that we are all pieces of the great cosmic puzzle.

March 10

Who said consumerism was all bad? Your spending habits may be the only thing keeping us on the better side of an economic depression.

Your materialistic spirit is best captured in the cheeks of March 10, a booty that embraces that "add to cart" feeling. We, too, love a good material item. In fact, we've determined the best place to shop. Lucky you!

September 18

Ah, a green thumb!

Your butt is the blossoming booty of September 18, a beautiful bounty of blooms. You love the outdoors, and you know in your soul that plants love music just as much as we do. (Perhaps your growing endeavors branch into the multiverse of fungi or the world of grass?)

December 5

You are a lover of the ephemeral, the spectral, the ghostly.

December 5th's butt is a misty, ethereal being, just like you. Reveling in ethereal mystery, you know that nothing really ever begins or ends—it simply becomes something else.

May 10

Whether it's fluffy or fuzzy, you're into it.

As the hairy cheeks of May 10, you love the tactile experience of tassels, fringe, and all things similarly touchable. Even the textured surface of mold is enticing—you're constantly on the hunt for your next furry friend.

January 31

Ahhh, the squishy, doughy, delectable texture of bready goodness.

You are the perfectly risen butt of January 31. This little loaf is emblematic of those who like the softer side of life: chilling at home, a cozy pair of slippers, and snuggling up with a beloved pet.

Why not set some mood lighting, while you're at it?

July 16

Blue auras are associated with balance, clarity, and openness.

Within the ebbs and flows of July 16th's butt, you can find an endless exchange of energy. Keep it flowing by bringing a bit more blue into your day-to-day.

June 22

Ah, the red aura: a representation of intensity, vitality, and passion.

As the fiery, summery butt of June 22, you let it burn. You know what you want to say and how you want to say it. Some might like to think this kind of fervor leans a bit on the evil side, but we're convinced it's better to be fiery than icy.

September 10

Those with green auras are known for their compassion and capacity for love.

You are the September 10 butt, radiating out loving energy. Much like an egg, you are a nexus for nurturing and growth. You're the kind of person we'd love to share a glass of wine with.

Wow! You're a tough butt to crack.

You're a free thinker. An independent spirit. Not like the other girls.

You'll just have to buy your own In Hindsight calendar to sort through all 365 butts to find your booty-match.