![](https://varyer.imgix.net/240dl_2020-10-31-233042.jpg?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=900&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=82&usm=20&w=1200&s=d3b01a755daa3f71818e80321c97a83f 1200w, https://varyer.imgix.net/240dl_2020-10-31-233042.jpg?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=1800&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=61&usm=20&w=2400&s=40a658287c59aeb89df927c6298995d1 2400w, https://varyer.imgix.net/240dl_2020-10-31-233042.jpg?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=744&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=82&usm=20&w=992&s=e873843859168f16d1dc68b6047eafc0 992w, https://varyer.imgix.net/240dl_2020-10-31-233042.jpg?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=1488&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=61&usm=20&w=1984&s=f03237456c6ad1a03d61a03de64402c6 1984w, https://varyer.imgix.net/240dl_2020-10-31-233042.jpg?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=576&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=60&usm=20&w=768&s=2b6dc3585fa172f71d7f38980245c0a1 768w, https://varyer.imgix.net/240dl_2020-10-31-233042.jpg?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=1152&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=45&usm=20&w=1536&s=d4720d9bf9369902f5f14a108f5d97c8 1536w, https://varyer.imgix.net/240dl_2020-10-31-233042.jpg?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=432&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=60&usm=20&w=576&s=dfd8ae664d1dcb828a9aa8a629557ebb 576w, https://varyer.imgix.net/240dl_2020-10-31-233042.jpg?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=864&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=45&usm=20&w=1152&s=324f0d6a32b1c48ec9e5626ee0a5444f 1152w)
I grew up in St. Louis, and when I was a teenager my family moved to Omaha. This was not cool. Omaha was pretty a weird place for me. It was uncomplicated, but frustrating in its lack of perspective—basically you were either ready to die for the Cornhuskers, or you weren’t. This dichotomy led me to more simple explorations. At my school if you liked music, you were an outsider, and thus you could be into anything and everything, freed from the trappings of genre-based scenes. If you didn’t play football, you were a freak. So you'd just find your own way. No pressure. Becoming myself became very easy, and being who I was became my personal requirement. And my car embodied that journey.
My 1989 Volvo 240DL was a boxy, comfortable, plain car with minimal ornamentation and almost zero performance. Unlike most of my peers—all of whom were coveting the Wranglers, Discoverys, and vintage Land Cruisers—this car was as close as it could get to obtainable perfection for me.
My dad gave me the car in 1997 after he acquired it from his employer, where he used it for seven years as his company car. It had no air conditioning, a built-in car phone, and a tape player with a CD converter plugged into my cherished vibration-safe Discman. At its fastest, I could get it to 70mph, but only if the windows were up. My favorite detail was the purple oscillating dashboard fan plugged into the lighter.
That 240 could be only itself. It was unique, but never worked to grab anyone’s attention. It was comfortable in its own existence, not trying too hard. And it was genuine, good to those that spent their time in it and with it. It was more than just an escape hatch, it implored me to seek things out that made me feel like myself, things that were rarely connected to Omaha or my high school. It’s the car I drove from Ohio to St. Louis when my grandpa died. It’s the car that knocked my aunt's garage down and escaped without a scratch. It’s the car that brought me to the mountains. It was the only car in Nebraska with both a stealie and a Pavement sticker. It’s what brought me to my future.
And looking back, that is the car that embodied what I wanted to be. It was reliable as hell. Hard working. Unique. Determined. Resolute. And it was honest. Not sure I’ve gotten there yet, but it reminds me to stay on the journey. It made everything possible, and I wish I could get it back.
![](https://varyer.imgix.net/Small-Talk.png?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=932&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=82&usm=20&w=1200&s=ca7f0d67ef8c89b868fc9053b3f41732 1200w, https://varyer.imgix.net/Small-Talk.png?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=1864&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=61&usm=20&w=2400&s=1d67b530120a01db1185b3c30cae1abe 2400w, https://varyer.imgix.net/Small-Talk.png?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=770&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=82&usm=20&w=992&s=edd219b7b044cdedc17a689fb2ad64fc 992w, https://varyer.imgix.net/Small-Talk.png?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=1541&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=61&usm=20&w=1984&s=a468827df2dfe47292ec151083e51910 1984w, https://varyer.imgix.net/Small-Talk.png?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=596&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=60&usm=20&w=768&s=afcd55fa45fe7be19b6c291e8e6041db 768w, https://varyer.imgix.net/Small-Talk.png?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=1193&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=45&usm=20&w=1536&s=78656bc2d88b6794a68c1a77bdf94fc0 1536w, https://varyer.imgix.net/Small-Talk.png?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=447&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=60&usm=20&w=576&s=eea00aaff59922267c0c0de15270bed5 576w, https://varyer.imgix.net/Small-Talk.png?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=894&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=45&usm=20&w=1152&s=ae0f7602dfbf90280173d4bb416eaa5c 1152w)
Author's jacket customized by Small Talk Studio
![](https://varyer.imgix.net/IMG_4085.jpg?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=1600&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=82&usm=20&w=1200&s=069e85980df5fcfd27dcfb097ae7a50a 1200w, https://varyer.imgix.net/IMG_4085.jpg?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=3200&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=61&usm=20&w=2400&s=8fe32581f86ea8e15f42edca4e1231ca 2400w, https://varyer.imgix.net/IMG_4085.jpg?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=1322&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=82&usm=20&w=992&s=cfc78a59eed6e36ed05d9601fb680975 992w, https://varyer.imgix.net/IMG_4085.jpg?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=2645&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=61&usm=20&w=1984&s=c2603b53125fd7242966f4913ceb96ac 1984w, https://varyer.imgix.net/IMG_4085.jpg?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=1024&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=60&usm=20&w=768&s=ebf20035e84a7c7639c3fa106f28e30b 768w, https://varyer.imgix.net/IMG_4085.jpg?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=2048&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=45&usm=20&w=1536&s=2ad9c8978d0cad3bd54d82719ec36009 1536w, https://varyer.imgix.net/IMG_4085.jpg?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=768&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=60&usm=20&w=576&s=23120469a5c4b68e2ac353c5cdc60a4f 576w, https://varyer.imgix.net/IMG_4085.jpg?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=1536&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=45&usm=20&w=1152&s=3756645098d012525cfc3e520ee3f2bd 1152w)
The author, his Case Logic, some hemp, and Mountainsmith Waist Pack circa 1996
![](https://varyer.imgix.net/IMG_4086.jpg?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=1600&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=82&usm=20&w=1200&s=2ea5f52cc7808f11f9fcc78d7aff66a6 1200w, https://varyer.imgix.net/IMG_4086.jpg?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=3200&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=61&usm=20&w=2400&s=cec065327e24e79f8fc91c1d2d8b4080 2400w, https://varyer.imgix.net/IMG_4086.jpg?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=1322&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=82&usm=20&w=992&s=025e280a2862ed8aa3aef8aac6c0c71f 992w, https://varyer.imgix.net/IMG_4086.jpg?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=2645&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=61&usm=20&w=1984&s=dfa098cbc66738bfdc32c36b6cdf7f81 1984w, https://varyer.imgix.net/IMG_4086.jpg?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=1024&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=60&usm=20&w=768&s=788f0cdd67930ef25a360578a95afaf2 768w, https://varyer.imgix.net/IMG_4086.jpg?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=2048&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=45&usm=20&w=1536&s=58b521c7546c4fdfa455f67c93b2f444 1536w, https://varyer.imgix.net/IMG_4086.jpg?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=768&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=60&usm=20&w=576&s=630cae6c6c2136dd712ac58b547ca4ff 576w, https://varyer.imgix.net/IMG_4086.jpg?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=1536&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=45&usm=20&w=1152&s=63b055229a59ce16ad6acfe5d330b06f 1152w)
The author pretending he's in Winter Park, CO instead of McMansion Park, Omaha circa 1997
![](https://varyer.imgix.net/volvogd_2020-10-31-233105.png?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=1277&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=82&usm=20&w=1200&s=6710fa6b431bbedf88e8558d24707b06 1200w, https://varyer.imgix.net/volvogd_2020-10-31-233105.png?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=2554&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=61&usm=20&w=2400&s=c8c364a6517632b4637e47ae0927717c 2400w, https://varyer.imgix.net/volvogd_2020-10-31-233105.png?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=1055&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=82&usm=20&w=992&s=4a38b962be4f9f2b31cb99f5a2686690 992w, https://varyer.imgix.net/volvogd_2020-10-31-233105.png?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=2111&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=61&usm=20&w=1984&s=f619cab5e375eb0ce3d20bb0e69c75aa 1984w, https://varyer.imgix.net/volvogd_2020-10-31-233105.png?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=817&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=60&usm=20&w=768&s=cb41a76b62e33209ea32a34a31f035fc 768w, https://varyer.imgix.net/volvogd_2020-10-31-233105.png?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=1634&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=45&usm=20&w=1536&s=fef35ec50bc5a0cb2d65d4376a17e0b1 1536w, https://varyer.imgix.net/volvogd_2020-10-31-233105.png?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=613&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=60&usm=20&w=576&s=8231b905d47ce99101687569bfed6fce 576w, https://varyer.imgix.net/volvogd_2020-10-31-233105.png?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=1226&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=45&usm=20&w=1152&s=754cc4bcf9bf7ba7c85e7265a096cead 1152w)
![](https://varyer.imgix.net/varyer_Volvo_2020-10-31-232945.jpg?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=1501&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=82&usm=20&w=1200&s=2d1f71f38a268a1b6e0e3b06b44f221c 1200w, https://varyer.imgix.net/varyer_Volvo_2020-10-31-232945.jpg?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=3003&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=61&usm=20&w=2400&s=287088636cbd74424416d4bf2c256494 2400w, https://varyer.imgix.net/varyer_Volvo_2020-10-31-232945.jpg?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=1241&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=82&usm=20&w=992&s=883142cd5786b494f66f41b0a8e628c1 992w, https://varyer.imgix.net/varyer_Volvo_2020-10-31-232945.jpg?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=2483&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=61&usm=20&w=1984&s=0e11ad581a7f384e69ea2994aee31a58 1984w, https://varyer.imgix.net/varyer_Volvo_2020-10-31-232945.jpg?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=961&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=60&usm=20&w=768&s=40509523a87304754030238b3e3b7a51 768w, https://varyer.imgix.net/varyer_Volvo_2020-10-31-232945.jpg?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=1922&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=45&usm=20&w=1536&s=a1f317bc4a28572e3e32ea7f2b59b971 1536w, https://varyer.imgix.net/varyer_Volvo_2020-10-31-232945.jpg?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=720&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=60&usm=20&w=576&s=68f6f33dbda7c70564551eeb68196adb 576w, https://varyer.imgix.net/varyer_Volvo_2020-10-31-232945.jpg?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&domain=varyer.imgix.net&fit=crop&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.5&h=1441&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=45&usm=20&w=1152&s=cadc55d7b33a57e2159fbb9b9c98218a 1152w)